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A person who dedicates their entire college existence to keeping a dying fraternity on life support, proudly works an on-campus job for a heroic 3 hours a week despite being buried in crippling debt, and consistently manages to fail every class as if it’s part of his academic plan. Known for spending his nights on the phone with a mysterious girl he met online, convincing himself it’s a “real relationship” while ignoring every responsibility he actually has. Often spotted wearing last week’s hoodie that he wore at a party, preaching frat loyalty, and wondering why life keeps hitting him back harder than his GPA.
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