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noun /ˈflaɡ.ət/ (derogatory, satirical)

1. A person who openly despises their own country—its values, its institutions, its multicultural makeup—until an opportunity arises to wave a national flag in the face of asylum seekers, refugees, or “foreign-looking” neighbours, at which point they experience a sudden and furious bout of patriotism, often expressed in broken Facebook posts and incoherent chanting near retail parks.

2. (UK context) A specific genus of accidental performance artist who treats the Union Jack or St. George's Cross not as a symbol of heritage, but as a territorial piss-mark—zip-tied to motorway overpasses, draped on rusted fences, or left to rot on lamp posts in full view of the Greggs queue.

3. One who insists “it’s not racist to be proud of your flag,” and proves this by ensuring no actual pride is taken in its upkeep or display. The flag, much like their understanding of history, is tattered, sun-bleached, and wildly out of context.

Etymology: A portmanteau of flag and a certain homophobic slur, the term mirrors the venomous tribalism and projected insecurity of those who use such language. It denotes a similar cocktail of misplaced rage, performative identity, and deep-seated fear of things that are different, inclusive, or well-made.

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