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A poet who probably existed during the famed Elizabethan Era, but whose work did not survive plagues, famines, and fires. Legend has it on good authority that he was a thing, and he wrote famous poems like Ode to Ye Farting Muse, The Ballad of the Blazing Bunghole, Sonnet of the Squeaking Sphincter, and others that have been lost to history. He is also rumored to have dabbled into musical theatre, with Assgas! The Musical.
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