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A deceptively sweet opener used to soften the blow of a soul-crushing revelation. Usually followed by tea no one asked for but absolutely cannot ignore. Most commonly deployed by someone pretending to be friendly while emotionally shanking you with a glitter-covered dagger. Used when: • Someone’s about to drop gossip that will ruin your relationship. • Your life is about to become a drama TikTok. • The phrase “no offense” just isn’t strong enough to brace you.
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