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Mazda 2 Drivers (noun): The official car of men who peaked in Year 10 and still think redlining in a 1.5L engine means something. Often spotted revving up to merge at 40km/h with the confidence of a twin-turbo V8 but the horsepower of a cordless drill. Bonus cringe points if it’s brand new — because nothing screams “midlife crisis at 20” like choosing this plastic peanut with wheels on purpose. Automatic? Of course. Because shifting your own gears would be too much responsibility. Hatchback? Naturally. More boot space for all that inflated ego. Typically driven by guys who talk like they own a McLaren but get gapped by tradies in diesel Hilux’s.
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