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A "Hot Pocket" occurs when a player discreetly defecates into their hand and deposits the turd into a teammate’s unattended pocket. The prank relies on stealth, timing, and a worrying lack of shame.

The victim must then declare, at the next training session that they’ve been Hot Pocketed at which point the turd burglar is rewarded with a night of free , drinks paid by the unfortunate recipient.

The consistency of the turd is the critical variable.

A "Solid Insert" is the gold standard: firm enough to hold shape, easy to slip in without detection, and leaves minimal collateral damage.

A "Brown moose Suicide" (also known as a splat drop) is high-risk, high-chaos. It’s loose, unpredictable, and prone to seeping. If pulled off without causing a scene or ruining a pair of jeans, it earns serious respect. But misjudge the texture and you’ll be banned from away trips and cleaning kit for a month.

Gentleman’s code:

No Hot Pocketing on formal occasions (e.g., weddings, funerals, or black-tie dinners, unless agreed prior).

Under no circumstances should one attempt a double-drop (two pockets, one motion) unless you're a senior club member with diplomatic immunity.

Related Terms:

Brown Glove: When the turd is delivered directly into a hand and not deposited. Savage.

Truffle Drop: A variant where it’s placed in a boot or kitbag instead.

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