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Origin: First officially documented in the year of our Lord 2024 by Mike K. of Redondo Beach — a man whose voice was smooth as silk and whose spiritual awakening is constantly being tested by schmo's playing with their phones in meetings, and weak coffee. Blessings be unto him.

An evolved species of AA old-timer who walks the fine line between enlightenment and homicide. The Bleeding Statesman is a spiritual hybrid — part Elder Statesman, part Bleeding Deacon — combining hard-won wisdom with low-key exasperation and an intolerance for bullshit.

With decades of sobriety under their belt, they’ve seen it all — the steps, the slogans, the cycles — and still manage to show up (mostly on time). They carry a sharp spiritual toolkit and just enough restraint to stay out of jail. Think Zen master, but with mild caffeine withdrawal and unresolved group conscience trauma.

They don’t judge — they perform character assessments. They meditate — on que with "I cant believe this b*tch is sharing this again" They’re spiritually grounded — but always five seconds away from leaving.

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