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Saint Mark/St. Mark (n/Proper Noun)

//Disambiguation: unrelated to Saint Mark from 12 A.D. timeframe or any other historical/fictional Saint Mark.// Not much is recorded in the annals of history on Saint Mark, though researchers and conspiracy theorists surmise that he is of Appalachian descent, possibly from West Virginia, and born in the '60s or '70s, probably during the on-location filming of the movie Deliverance (1972) starring pork lover Ned Beatty. Saint Mark is the patron saint of smelling ones own farts. The Jubilee of Saint Mark, or Saint Mark's Day, is traditionally recognized on March 12th (February 30th in Canada), and celebrates individuals passing gas into a cupped hand and immediately bringing the cupped hand to one's nose for a deep inhale. Other celebrants of Saint Mark's Day choose to float air biscuits into a mason jar which is then closed for use later. Both techniques are recognized as valid homage to Saint Mark.

Trivia related to Saint Mark's Day: The eve of Saint Mark's Day sees a rise in the consumption of beans, legumes, broccoli, cabbage and dairy products. It is also one of (R)Taco Bell's busiest evenings of the year. And finally, for reasons unknown, the day after Saint Mark's Day is the top day for worldwide gross sales of new/packaged underwear and lower undergarments.

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