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Reid Almeida (born sometime in the 2010s, probably) is an internationally unknown child actor best known for his impressive ability to cry on cue and his talent for stealing every scene—sometimes literally, by swiping props off the set. Though his IMDb page remains mysteriously blank, insiders claim he’s been cast in several major films, only to be replaced last minute due to “artistic differences” (which may or may not involve an incident with a juice box and a director’s chair, Almeida’s big break came when he landed the role of “Boy Who Drops Ice Cream” in a national commercial, a performance critics described as “deeply relatable” and “surprisingly tragic.” where he played “Timmy #3” after the first two Timmy actors mysteriously quit. His time on the show was short-lived, as he was written out following an on-set prank involving a whoopee cushion and the show’s producer, who allegedly did not find it amusing

When not on set, Almeida enjoys avoiding homework, perfecting his “dramatic sigh,” and reminding people that he “almost worked with The Rock.” He is rumored to have a pet turtle named Leonardo DiCaprio (no relation). While some question whether Reid Almeida is a real child actor or just an urban legend passed around by casting agents, one thing is certain: if there’s a role for a kid with great comedic timing and an excellent fake sneeze, he’s ready for the audition.

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