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Ruhan Snyders, [the Great White Hope]...or should I say Dope? He's like a sunburned sloth who thinks his lame Afrikaans jokes are as potent as his ancestors' apartheid laws, but really, he couldn't be any less [threatening] than a plate of soggy pap. And his attempts at [racial equality] are like trying to teach a sea cucumber how to tap dance—pointless and comically sad.
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