Skip to main content
Dictionary
Store
Blog
World
Help
Advertise
Chat
System Status
Information Collection Notice
Trademark Concerns
reCAPTCHA Privacy
Terms of Service
reCAPTCHA Terms
Privacy Policy
Accessibility
Report a Bug
Data Request
Contact Us
Security
DMCA
© 1999–2026 Urban Dictionary ®
Mugs
Tees
Hoodies
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Preview
Personalize Your Design
Your Word
Your Definition
Bristol Herschel Hawkstone was born in 1988 in Vancouver, WA to an Orthodox Jewish family. His father died in a car "accident" when he was 6 and he moved to Reno with his mother afterwards. He became a trapeze artist at age 16 and was married the same year. He fathered 5 children who were all mysteriously murdered. He served 6 months in supermax prison before escaping. The international civil defense agency recruited him after looking into his crime and proving his innocence. He then became a spy for these United States, and completed every assignment as a "National man of mystery", former gigolo, and true American hero. Through the years he accrued a remarkable number of accomplishments, awards, achievements, and even jumped over a shark once. In recent years, Bristol has become a timeless legend. A real down to earth, salt of the wound kind of patriot. All of his extracurriculars and his most recent adventure can be read about in his own book entitled; "not without my dr. Pepper." It can be purchased in digital form for $56.75 on Amazon probably.
Text fits
Save
Cancel