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Diarmaid is a name of royal significance. In ancient times, kin of royalty possessing the blood of the [throbbing cock] God 'Zeus' were named Diarmaid as an indicator to all the women that this guy is packing large meat and top-shelf juice (of the kind that the ladies like). Sterile and flacid-peniled individuals were conversely named 'Diarmuid' as an indicator of [infertility] (out of the womb). Diarmuids were [often] used as foot-stools or feet-sucklers. Modern Archaeological data approximating in the Southern Ireland region has uncovered the potato-fabric-woven patches that Diarmuids would be forced to wear during this period. The center of these circle badges would be a 'U', signifying the 'U suck' slogan that was often administered to the Diarmuids. Diamond-encrusted cock rings could be found in relation to Diarmaid-dense areas (DDAs), often speculated to control the [fertility] of these men "cos they might get all the gyals preggers".
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