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When cousins are all [at the beach] surfing, and one has a totally hairy chest while the others are all baby-seal-slick, that hairy cousin has Francis Fur. Francis Fur grows like a genetic [mutation], and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough [static electricity] on a dry winter day to power a house for a week. Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
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