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Great heavens almighty! Is that our savior, divine being from above, the Jesus Christ?! Why, no, but I can see why you’re confused. That, my friend, is a faberge egg, one of the most illusory objects to ever exist. It is timeless, crafted from the souls of dead Republican senators, detailed with an engraved sequential narrative depicting the entire plot to “How to Train Your Dragon”, and stands on a plate composed of flattened Twisted Tea cans. It is remarkable, terrifyingly beautiful, and the perfect shape to stick up your ass.
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