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An invaluable antique that invokes an orgasmic-like state comparable to one’s first time watching Fight Club. Decorated with stale Sour Patch kids and adorned with tin foil from a three day old chipotle burrito, this elliptical treasure is the perfect replacement for a butt plug. You’ll find faberge eggs under barbed wire fences, national museums, a local Walmart, and your moms house.
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