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If Jack Sparrow and Paul Bunyan had a lovechild, and that lovechild grew to be a stunner, who then caught the attention of Thor Odinson. Their offspring would be an axe wielding, swashbuckling mind-melting bombshell and her name is Sara. When Sara arrives at port she will often be accompanied by various rodents and foul of ill repute. She gives them names like “Space Queen of the Turd-buffet” and “Colonel Sharting Greased Cheeks” Sara will drink all your whiskey and best the towns strongest men feats of strength. She’ll spin a yarn and lay a blue streak like nothing you’ve ever heard. You may die from fits laughter. Men will ogle as she swings her axe with power and beauty, razing a stand of pine and oaks with ease. Be glad you’re a friend, for she lays waste to her foes with the thunder of her steel and swing of her axe. Should you find yourself on the wrong side of a dual with Sara your only hope is to quickly enter a roundabout intersection. These have disorienting effect on her, circles hurt her brain. Hurling Fermented cucumbers at her will also buy you some time to escape. It makes no sense but these delectables will drive into a frothy madness. Tales and song are written about Sara and if you are lucky enough a verse or two will include you.

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