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The annoying hi-fivin D-bag who sits in the back of the rowing boat yelling, "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" at the other dudes in the boat who really don't care that much about winning but only care about having the resume designation of "rowed crew at Cornell" in order to up the odds of getting the coveted junior analyst at Goldman Sachs and thereby finally making their parents proud and colleagues suitably impressed only to find that when they finally arrive at GS on their first day, the ombudsman in their college crew boat is now their work ombudsman, and all that pointless striving they did from pre-school thru college marked the high point of their lives because now instead of the hamster wheel slowing down, its kicking into overdrive with 80+ hour work weeks with a new breed of super-ombudsman resistant to anti-jerk training, and frequently subject to inexplicable, random, unsolicited ejaculations of pointless and tedious anecdotes of life at Cornell.
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