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The annoying hi-fivin d-bag whose job it is to sit in the back of the crew boat yelling "Stroke, Stroke, Stroke" to the other dudes in the boat who really dont care that much about winning the race as they do having the "crew" designation on their resume for when they apply as a junior an analyst to Goldman Sachs, finally making their parents happy and thinking they've reached the end of the endless hampster wheel called life in elite America, yet only to realized that having that annoying ombudsman yelling "Stroke" at you was the highlight of your life becsuse now youre working 80 hrs a week for another former ombudsman who makes the first ombudsman seem like a really decent chap. Either one of these ombudsman are subject to unsolicited, random ejaculations of pointless and tedious yarns about their days of being the ombudsman on the Cornell crew team.
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