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The most foul-smelling, thieving, long-nosed creatures to ever exist. Pathanis originate from Pakistan, Afghanistan and parts of India, The Majority of which, reside in a city called Peshwar in Pakistan, Although a large number of them can be found in the middle east, driving school buses without a license and playing cricket in the middle of nowhere.

Every month, Male pathanis conduct a sacred ritual where they eat some biryani in a washroom and clap. Legends say that this summons the Patan deity named ‘Natap’ or ‘Muhammad Nathap’ who protects the Pathans and grants them their wishes in exchange for an offering for roasted meats and kabobs.

Male Pathani occupations include: As mentioned above Driving school buses terribly, Stealing money, Threatening to bomb a place, Causing explosions, Bragging about how rich his father is, Vaping, Causing Chaos, Starting Fights, Working in a Car Wash or Petrol pump. Note that Female Pathanis generally don’t work, as they are busy at home contributing to the Pathan population. In the rare case they do choose to work, They usually tend to work as a teacher.

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