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A “pick me enby” is a non-binary person seeking approval of those with binary gender identities by trying to overtly distinguish themselves from other non-binary people.

They might claim their identity is more valid based on having more potential to sustain inside of a heteronormative society, listing a more “complex”, “stable” (in contrast to fluid) experience or their “perfect androgynous appearance” as a reason to be more deserving of respect. They might throw other non-binary people under the bus by calling them “cringe” or “fake”, in an attempt to shift the image of the “transtrender” further down the line to those that might be (even) more misunderstood in society.

The term “pick me enby” is derived from the more popular “pick me girl”: a girl/woman defined as trying to appeal to boys/men by bringing other girls/women down. Often times people describe the motivation of a “pick me girl” as internalized misogyny, therefore a “pick me enby” could be seen as motivated by internalized transphobia.

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