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A guy who is so cool that he makes Elon Musk seem like a Chad (which is one status below "Giga Chad"). An Alistair might seem like his Schlong is only 17", but in actuality, it is 40". It is also a well-known fact that anyone who doesn't like an Alistair will suffer the wrath of the shrexy Poseidon. Alistairs usually have a bank account with numbers ranging from 15-80 zeros. They also make a living off of signing people's important possessions. I mean, who wouldn't want their baby to be signed by an Alistair?
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