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talk show host who has garnered popularity amongst the illiterate, uneducated and mostly southern folk by championing religion and professing a dislike for african-americans and hispanics.  Was accused of serious sexual offenses yet has somehow weasled out of public analyses by filibustering and accusations of unpatriotism. Has a penchant for sticking loofers up his unusually large anus and despite his conservative nature, has homosexual tendencies.  His pasttimes involve lynching, cross burnings, and anonomous authoring for KKK.com but mostly, he spends his evening harrasing his collegues on the phone. It was noted by several of his co-workers that dildo bill spoke with an unusally high pitched tone whilst on the phone but a lawsuit brought about by a subjugated coworker revealed that this phenomenon was a consequence of a vibrator stuck so far up his rectum that it tickled his voice box.  According to a leaked document from the Mayo clinic, dildo bill suffers from low self esteem - an affliction stemming from the possession of an unusually small penis, and the resultant impotency.  This has manifested itself in an extremely unpleasant, uncouth, aggresive personality and a propensity to hurl insults and saliva at anyone in the vicinity Perhaps most telling of dildo bill's anomalies is the fact that he was once registered as republican.

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