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To strike anything and anyone, but especially the face of a sexual partner or as a punitive or compensatory action subordinate, with one's penis. Typically (but not exclusively) achieved with a semi-erect to erect penis, held to one side and then released to execute a springing action. The success of a schlongwallop is generally measured by the resulting smack; indeed the sheer force of a good schlongwalloping is what sets a schlongwallop apart from a simple dick slap, and (possibly apocryphal) at least one veteran schlongwalloper claims to have rendered a victim unconscious with his best wallop.

In some American states such as Minnesota (but never Iowa), men possessing unusually large penises may alternatively achieve a successful schlongwallop simply by twisting the torso, or even engaging in an extended spin of adequate duration to strike multiple targets (a "spinning schlongwallop"). Another variation - considered by some aficionados to be a completely separate maneuver - is the linear schlongwallop, wherein a penis is extended perpendicular to the direction of travel, e.g. outside of a bus window or while prancing sideways.

When announced in advance but with no target indicated, a schlongwalloping is understood to be directed at the closest person's face.

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