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Newton's Turd Law is a physical law described by Isaac Newton, a 16th-century British physicist and mathematician, dedicated to describing the kinetic behavior of a semi-rigid externally unconstrained fecal system of particles forming a semi-rigid body, otherwise known as a Turd. Specifically, this law focuses on the behavior of a Turd post-freefall collision. This law is part of a set, known colloquially as Newton's Laws, collectively discovered by Newton when observing that his Turds accelerated downwards and not sideways or diagonal. This law states that 'for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'. Newton's Turd Law is the explanation for water splashback when taking a shit, why larger shits have appropriately larger splashbacks, and why gigantic shits could break the toilet.
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