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A Howard is a completely unimpressive collection of traits that consumes its own waste. While some references to Howard as a first or last name have been used in the past, all Howard’s have their origins from a single mutated cell of primordial Fatlardagin sperm.

The Mississippi strain of the Howard is the most unremarkable and subhuman subspecies of the Howards and usually caught at night on trail cam performing beastiality on white tail deer.

Mississippi Howard’s can be identified easily by their slowed speech, irregular cranium shape and a under developed penis that resembles a small tootsie roll, amazingly this tiny appendage is black no matter skin color.

The first example studied by Harvard professors was in 1846 and was found at the Barnum and Bailey Circus as a side show for a 5 cent piece Amazingly the Mississippi Howard has continued to regress in all aspects.

Take the tootsie roll shaped penis, as disgusting as this sounds it has regressed from 81 mm (3.18”) in 1846 down toe 54 mm (2.12”) in the last study dated August 18 2007. The penis now resembles a Tootsie Roll that was left in someone’s pocket in the dryer. Cranial size continues to grow in a malformed manner while the sub cortex and medulla oblongata have withered away baffling the worlds greatest minds to ask “how could such a beast procreate or even remember how to walk?

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