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on certain occasions, after one has consumed a [particularly] elegant meal—for example, of curried mussels with sausages, [french fried] potatoes, and port wine drunk from pig's bladders—one may seek to capture the essence of one's gaseous excretions in a flask. this typically happens only once or twice in a decade. the very best farts are known "body-spirits," or "esprit-de-corps," in the original french. such ripples will gain in complexity during the years they spend [in the bottle], acquiring notes of dogshit, turpentine, penis sweat, and shark farts.
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