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Located in the cultural mecca of the UK that is Newbury Berkshire, St Bartholomew's - more commonly known as St Barts - is a haven for dead personality girls and guys who wear adidas hoodies and smoke vapes. Despite the overwhelming middle class demographic, many of the kids here try to act like London roadmen, adopting fake working class accents and vocabulary. Similarly, many girls like to develop nicotine addictions for the aesthetic - more simply described as rah where's my baccy girls, and the majority have, at one time or another, slept with wet guys for free weed and ket. Every group has that one person that has no friends and noone likes but just hangs around at the edge of the circle so they don't look sad and pathetic, and 1 in 5 people will get a part time job at the big tesco's or the Tot Hill maccies, and then spend all their earnings on stone island jackets. Most of the 16/17 year olds have shitty fake ids which they use once and get confiscated, and think that a good night out is Spoon's til 9pm and then home so mummy doesn't beat them. Oh and all the white girls think that activism involves just reposting shit on their insta stories, but then they buy sweatshop-made primark clothes and get a new iPhone every 6 months.

But its still better than park house and at least it's not in Thatcham.

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