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Legend has it that tucked deep in the foothills of northern New England are two men who have achieved the ultimate level of manliness. It is said that when God said “Let there be light!” They responded with “say please”. They can both speak braille, do a wheelie on a unicycle and dribble a [bowling ball]. [One of them] once won a game of connect four in three moves while the other slammed a revolving door. They are also [the real reason] that Waldo is hiding. Imagine men whose jawlines could have chiseled Mount Rushmore and whose abs you could do your laundry on. All of these impressive accolades aside, they were able to accomplish all of this with a mere dash of Brut...The Essence of Man... across their chins... chins that I might add that they shave with chainsaws.
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