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To masturbate Same as... Bash the bishop Choke the chicken Yank the plank Clean the pipes Grapple the gorilla Pet the one eyed snake Stroke the salami Massage colin Toss off Shake hands with the milkman Greet the old chap tommy tank Spank Off Spank the Monkey Buffing the Banana Holding Your Sausage Hostage Jackin' the Beanstalk Rounding up the Tadpoles Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ Spank the Frank Applying the hand brake Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior Auditioning the finger puppets Beef-stroke-it-off Boxing the bald champ Charming the snake Checking for testicular cancer Choking Kojak Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie Straddle your paddle Taking matters into your own hands Teasing the weasel Thumping the pump Tickling the pickle etc etc
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