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Only feed their kids all-natural, sugar-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, organic, flavorless food, are always competing for the most kids, drive mini-vans, play Kidz Bop 24/7, wear huge sunglasses and way too much brown eyeshadow, have dyed hair, soccer coach, never misses a parent-teacher conference, brings baked goods for every single elementary school event, uses words like "blood orange," carries a giant purse that's probably turquoise with never-ending snacks, wet-wipes, and gum, have a walking or yoga group, go to Starbucks every morning, is in a book club, always has the latest hot tea, writes a 'mommy-blog,' and is constantly looking for recipes on Pinterest or Good Housekeeping.
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