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1. An awfully lame and pathetic excuse spouted by a single-celled organism when caught red-handed violating a policy, regulation, or law that it was supposedly duty-bound to enforce and uphold 2. May also refer to a police official who acts all tough and scary and all that but actually has a soft spot for birthday parties where he is given dozens of roses and is serenaded like a blushing Mexican quinceanera
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