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Virus started and originally fully owned by China, inciting 'virus jealousy' in a big-mansion-but-small-bat-in-the-basement American president. The envious president then 'pre-predicted' China's outbreak, ditched all preparatory and prevention capabilities of the USA well in advance, fiddled for months after the outbreak -- then pandemic -- were declared, spent weeks trying to convince old people it's like the flu -- eventually completely succeeding at wresting the MAGAvirus from any other country's -- or even bat's -- tiny hands. To boost his own ego, when it seemed good to blame the MAGAvirus on communists, China, Asians, and democrats, he bravely didn't hesitate to do so. After trumpeting there will be many deaths, he recommended all either continue to stick their heads in the sand like he would, or cover the face with a red scarf, likely having his new reelection slogan, 'Made America Gasp Agonally' (a nice word to look up). The president achieved his greatest social / viral success ever, and it's still growing. He managed in so few short weeks to lead to an America 'number 1' in so many things: infections, deaths, and working on longest / most incompetent response time, and Most Ineffective Health System For Pandemics. So much winning!

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