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In my world "unclap" refers to when you silently place your hands together and then abruptly separate your palms (as if suddenly measuring a fish) in an attempt to acoustically cancel out, or subtract, absorb, suck up, cause destructive interference with, or simply detract from other people's mindless clapping. For bad regional theater. For someone's mediocre child blowing on a hokey old noisemaker. Most of all, we do it for when others clap strictly out of habit. Unclapping is the less athletic version of a a standing ovation protest. I.e. when a lot of idiots give a standing ovation to a single idiot, and in order to prevent the idiot from thinking they deserve it, you lay with your back on your theater seat, with your head toward the floor and your feet in the air. It's awkward and often causes a stir, what with your feet hitting the faces of the overjoyed. But it says clearly, "I'm not standing for this! I hold fast against your joy! I would fold my arms resolutely but then I'd slide out of this chair onto my head!" Think on that, celebrators of mediocrity. Go unclap yourself!

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