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Eilish Syndrome ([AKA] Attention-Deficient Egocentrism Disorder) is a debilitating birth defect which substantially damages brain development of the tweenage females. Patients develop a compulsive need for attention and sympathy from everyone within range of possible contact. Often this is to compensate for crippling low self-worth and low popularity status in social circles. The name refers to the rates of this disorder among spoiled tweenage Billie Eilish fans. This disorder is extremely [difficult] to treat as it can be indistinguishable from other illnesses such as [Down Syndrome], Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Attention Whorism, and being a manipulative [asshole]

Symptoms remain dormant until around the age of 11 or 12 when the female is expected to begin undergoing pubertal changes and experiences prolonged exposure to internet [faggotry]. Patients are measured to be within the [50]-70 IQ range, and are estimated to be comparatively intelligent to a lobotomized toddler.

Permanent treatment for Eilish Syndrome can be [done] through lobotomy or euthanasia. Treatment to alleviate symptoms can be applied with aggressive smacking of the face. The American Psychological Association recommends the dorsal (back) side of the [hand] to make contact with the face during treatment (also known as the "Bitch [Slap]"). Other treatments include kicking down flights of stairs, tossing from third storey balconies, and extensive roasting sessions.

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