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Dave is a loser. Dave is almost 40 years old and has been unemployed for 20. Dave makes excuses for himself. Dave lives in his girls friends house for free while she goes to work every day. Dave does nothing all day and just before she comes home, he pretends to do the dishes to seem productive. Dave has no money to buy real drugs like a decent person because he’s a jobless loser, so he huffs propane out a grill tank. Dave is no longer allowed to have a grill at his house. Dave is too lazy to go inside the house and use a toilet like a human, so he shits in a bucket in the backyard and leaves it there. Dave has 4 broken down cars in the driveway because he can’t afford to buy one that works. Dave collects garbage. Dave is garbage. Dave feels so bad about being a loser that he verbally assaults his girlfriend to make her feel bad about herself, so she never sees how shitty he actually is. Dave doesn’t realize that she knows. Dave doesn’t have sex with his girlfriend and sleeps on the couch every night instead of in their bed to avoid sex. Dave is confused and outraged when she ends up sleeping with someone else. Dave doesn’t like to shower. Dave doesn’t brush his teeth. Dave really likes McDonald’s - a lot. Dave plays the victim. Dave starts projects and doesn’t finish ANY of them. Dave uses his inheritance to buy model planes instead of helping his girlfriend pay bills. Dave is a useless piece of shit.

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