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German for "happiness at the misfortune of others" Clapping when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses Watching figure skaters falling on their asses Watching people out in the rain Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken Watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in Being on an elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!" Straight A students getting Bs Exes getting STDs Waking doormen from their naps Watching tourists reading maps Football players getting tackled CEOs getting shackled Watching actors never reach the ending of their Oscar speech
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