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A Dirty Alistair is when a man tries to have sex with another man but can't because as he inserts his penis into the anus, Bruce Forsyth sticks his head out of the anus and says "Nice to see you, to see you..." and if you don't respond with "NICE!", Brucie jumps out and tells and outs you to your Grandma who is 84 and about to die. Occasionally, he might stick his head out and say "You get nothing for a pair", but that's only if you're trying to stick your balls up his anus.
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