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An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on application purpose. many people claim programming is difficult, but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use. DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person> DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability> if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then do send-to-gas-chamber else do commit-suicide end if function send-to-gas-chamber{ do grab $person_you_hate then shove $person_you_hate then close door then turn knob watch gas kill $person_you_hate return happy()} function commit-suicide{ do grab $person_you_hate then humiliate $person_you_hate then hand $person_you_hate noose then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table watch $person_you_hate die return happy()}
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