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Unlike more common venereal diseases, 'the Crumps' is a sexually transmitted infection of such resiliance, David Hasselhoff is said to be heard singing in the ear of the afflicted as their genitals finally crumble. Thought to have originated in Yorkshire when a radioactive pubic louse bit an unsuspecting young rugby player on the cock. Symptoms include but are not limited to: Thick, cloudy or bloody discharge from the penis or vagina Metallic rings appearing on the genitals Painful bowel movements Severe adverse reaction to alcohol Poor life choices
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