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The owner and webmaster of somethingawful.com; the man who laid the foundation for all goons; the leader and trend setter for all Internet journalism. He has brown hair, his car is black, has two dogs, likes to drink soda, and has this bad gas problem where he farts uncontrollably in the mornings after he wakes up and then, to cover his tracks, he kind of gives this disappointed look at his dogs, just in case somebody walks by and smells his gas.
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