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You know ur Serbian when...
When you pack to go for serbia and out of the 4 suitcases you are carrying, only [one of them] is actually yours 
When 3 different strangers are [waiting for you] at the airport to collect their gifts that you are carrying with you 
When you tell people you are Serbian, they always ask... „So ... What is it like there now?” 
You live in the adult world but when you go home, you feel like your 9 years old all over again 
When you can actually pronounce the „g” in jagnje 
When you're at a soccer game and your tata is yelling „j**** ja” at the whole team and all the „amerikanci” know it can't be a [good thing] 
Your parents tell you that „gurlz” love guys that can dance a good kolo 
if your not married by the age of 20 your family wants to send you back home to find “a nice boy” 
You have more than 200 serbian movies, but you have never watched them 
You [have a good] husband if he works and doesn't beat you 
At your christening a [silver dollar] on your navel will protect you from evil and make you rich 
Baba says „palachinki” and everyone heads for the table 
When she is mad your mama tells you that she will send you back to where you came from 
When your tata does a running commentary through a movie and he thinks he knows [everything] that's going to happen even though he has never seen the movie 
There is always „pita” on the [kitchen counter] and multiple pita dough bundles in your freezer at all times 
After cooking Pita, you eat it for dinner, breakfast, lunch and dinner 
Your parents don't expect you to make good grades, as long as they are better than everybody else's 
Your tata yells at you „budala, neznas ništa!” when you tell him that the crowd isn't yelling „DIVAC”, they are actually yelling „Defense” during the [Sacramento Kings] game regardless if they are home or away 
Seeing an animal's brain [in the fridge] doesn't freak you out 
Your mom or baba only use two settings on the stove: MAX or OFF 
When you call Santa „Deda Mraze” 
When you mom or grandma tells you to pee before you go outside 
When the only family u have here is your mom dad and siblings 
You use the words brat i sestra for your brother and sister and for your 
cousins 
You coverted the garage into a kitchen just to feed all the family and guest that showed 
When your tata chases the pigeons off the balcony with a mop, then sits down and says „dayll be back” 
When tata allways „AMMA YOY” 
When everyone always turns over their cup after drinking tursku kafu even though they know there is no one to tell them their fortune. 
When your tata is looking at an old photo album and sees himself young and says „jao sto sam bio frajer” and ur mom tells him „molim te nemoj da s...š!” 
Your parents spend hours talking about the best djubre for the [vegetables] 
Your deda tells you that his family were the wealthiest in [the village] because they owned two cows and a donkey 
When you go on holiday, you take the same suitcase that your dad had with him when he arrived in the country over 30 years ago 
You are named after your ujko, stric, tata or deda 
Your mother keeps buying and sending you clothes long after you have grown up and left home 
You are the only race that suffers from PROMAJA 
When TATA goes to any [professional] and says STA ON ZNA, NEMA POJMA 
You know you're a Serb when your parents [yell] „kakva je ta skola” when you cannot complete their tax returns while you're in the third grade. 
You tell your friends that you love sipak (rosehip) jam and they have no idea what it is

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