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The famed turtle-like creature popularized in such video games as Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Bros. 2, and Super Mario Bros. 3. This is the pre-royalty title of the villian. He lived with his parents until he was 25, brooding on his own inadequacy. When he inherited his rich grandmothers isolated castle located past Koopa infested deserts, caves, and mountains, he decided it was time to look for company. His obsession with Princess Peach eventually led to him meeting Mario Mario and they instantaneously became rivals for her affection. But we all know it is Luigi Mario who does all the work. What? No you suck.
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