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Superior internet cool guy from the somethingawful.com forums who flirts with late night drunks and meth addicts, moderators, and other sluts and dudes because they represent the internet elite, at least to themselves. Makes a point of starting gossip about others, circle-jerking, and trolling. His real hangup is that he dated some fat chick once, and he can't forget how badly she e-dumped him. This burn, which happened at least two years ago, prompts his constant anger toward others who like her or knew her. He still degrades her old friends, husband, etc. He thinks that he is outstandingly funny but in short is just another internet nerd who has nothing better to do in in his life but post on some internet forums and pretend he's better than all the rest.
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