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philadelphia

Where there are more murders than days in the year. Where the people are as friendly as a pack of jackals. Where cultural illiteracy meets a love of guns and scrapple. Philadelphia is a beautiful town of 1.5 million people who are dying to get out, literally. This gorgeous town is surrounded by suburbs full of people who love Philadelphia so much they pretend it is the best place on earth to out of towners and secretly, never, ever go downtown. Philadelphia is the birthplace of freedom - and the place that middle schools obligatorily send students too to learn about a much less violent past such as the revolutionary war. Philadelphia has a rich inventive history, for instance Electricity (Benjamin Franklin) and murdering 14 year old bicyclists (Phil from the southwest- go gangstah! GO!). Ah Philadelphia - smell the cordite, hate, and future depravity! Philadelphia, "America's Next Great City"* (out of order since 1776).

"Philadelphia, I love cheese steaks wit and double murder please" "Rocky says we're great... what do you mean Rocky isn't real?" "Recycling... who needs it" "Welcome to Philadelphia, can I interest you in an order of being shot to death?" "Philadelphia! America's Next Great City! Right after New York, Chicago, LA, San Franciso, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Oakland, Detroit, Houston, Oklahoma City, Lagos, Baghdad, Beijing, and Scotts base camp in the antarctic" "Sauron visited Holmesburg and shat his pants"

By MayorStreet

Philadelphia

A city in Southeastern Pennsylvania that is extremely awesome. The Non-Philadelphians think this city is like hell but it beats out any city, period. It's got the best desserts (Tastykakes), the best sandwiches (Philly Cheesesteaks that are HOAGIES, not subs), the best pretzels, water ice (that's pronounced WOOTER ICE!), and the most awesome places to go to! The United States got its Independence from Britain on July 4, 1776 in Independence Hall in Philadelphia. There are many historical places to go to including the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. "The City of Brotherly Love" is home to the most awesome sports including the awesome football team called the Eagles, the "phantastic" baseball team called the Phillies, the passionate basketball team called the 76ers, a.k.a the Sixers, and the orangest hockey team called the Flyers. Those stupid Non-Philadelphians call us the "worst fans," but most of them haven't been here. If they did, they would know we were the best! Philadelphia has many nicknames. -Philly -City of Brotherly Love -City that Loves You Back -The Best City Ever -The Coolest City Ever -The Tastiest City Ever -The City that is so Awesome than NO other City can Compare!

PHILADELPHIA IS BEASSSST!

By Fabio Fobbs

Philadelphia

The best group of fucking asshole degenerates you’ll ever see, if you’re a resident. Outsiders will be either killed, beaten, or held in the world famous Eagles Court. Fucking cheesesteaks are kind of the shit, Wawas are on every goddamn corner, lunch consists of the food of the gods, aka a mothafucking hoagie. Tasty cakes are fucking great. Don’t even get me talking about the best team ever. The fucking eagles. I will personally suck every players dick and im a straight guy. Anytime anything fucking happens Ohilly turns into an all out riot, and before every eagles game the city has to grease the poles so we don’t climb them. We still do cause we’re passionate retards and shit. Outsiders not welcome. Outsiders with weed will be mugged for the weed. Beer is the fuel and hoagies are also fuel and cheesesteaks are also fuel and tasty cakes taste good as fuck. Get some fucking water ice too. Water is pronounced “wooder” . Fuck off patriots

“Bro I’m boutta head to mothafucking Philadelphia to climb the fuckin poles” “Bro lemme come ima get some hoagies and shit”

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