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Vegan

A vegan is simply a practicing human herbivore. All humans are herbivore by design. That is an indisputable fact. (note: refer to Dr. Mills' "Comparative Anatomy of Eating" for a detailed analysis in chart format.) Diet is the principle mode of earthly interaction and exchange. It is an essential feature of ecology that creatures function within certain behavioral 'niches' including dietary. This is what enables nature's cooperative and supportive mechanisms to function and thus continuously renew and support all life. To not understand what we humans are designed to eat is so basic a misunderstanding that it has engendered many other destructive and self defeating behavioral forms including war and elitism. This practical misunderstanding of our true herbivore natures also continues to bar our ability to commune as other animals do; openly, wholeheartedly and with a natural purity of spirit.

Vegans do not consume animal products or engage in behaviors that violate other animals' rights to life, habitat and nature determined experiences.

By Cheryl Maietta

vegan

a. Someone who anthropomorphizes animals and endows with with human rights. b. Someone who is self righteous c. Someone who looks terribly emmaciated, most likely because of malnutrition, but also because of stressing out about animals being eaten and from protesting against carnivorism. These protests are typically caused by the psychological need for attention and/or as a form of rebellion against society.

a. "That cow has the same rights as you or me...." b. "Um....did you know that the chicken in that sandwich you're eating was stuffed in a cramped cage and not allowed to move? You need to become vegan, or at least vegetarian" c. "PETA!!!!! ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO!....hang on I have to sit down for a second I think my leg snapped"

By Cliff Whitty

Vegan

An idealistic person whose idea comes off as noble (or so they hope) but really is impratical. They fail to realize that harvesting crops always kills free animals that are caught in the combines that collect their veggies and fruit. Regardless of this obvious fact (which is supported by several university studies) vegans tend to be holier-than-thou bunch with a small minority of polite and tactful people. Vegans will often support terrorist groups such as PeTA and ALF/ELF and claim the end justifies the means. Nevermind PETA officers have been caught with lots of leather shoes and belts and PETA euthanizes thousands of animals a year. It's what "in" right now for idealistic college students who have life pretty good. Veganism is generally not what one would consider healthy or natural, nor is the current trend of high meat consumption, but you need meat and dairy in your diet. Veganism also opposes genetically engineered food, claiming it is unnatural to create food that is better suited to survive the harsh climate of drought and help ease world hunger. Idealism beats Realism, right?

Joe being a vegan, asked the waitor at a MEXICAN restraunt if they cooked their beans with pork. When he was given the obvious answer of "Si!" he scoffed and tried to educate the ignorant brown man about veganism. The Mexican guy ignored the stupid gringo and rubbed his pubes on Joe's food for being an arsehole (real life experience).

By Samuel Macon

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