University qualified sad-ass who has to screw everyone, including themselves, to make a living. Usually seen in bars. Not to be confused with Ally McBeal.
"Aw shit, I've hit something with my car" "Don't worry, it's only a lawyer. You're doing us and him a favour."
By New York Bar Association
1. (n)A profession paid to lie for someone in the name of their "defense". 2. (n)A profession that speaks in semantics and points out technicalities. 3. (n)A person of a profession that uses their education to fight for the little people and help out causes such as civil rights and destroy unjust laws but are sadly trampled over by greedy folks who siphon your money. 4. (n) Someone morally benkrupt who takes your money to help you prove that restaurants are irresponsible if they don't label their money hot and that McDonalds should pay money for America's obesity. 5. (n) A selfish profession that shameful perents want their children to become just because it makes a lot of money. 6. (n) The downfall of this country's society.
Lawyers are the scum of the earth!
By The Amazing Anonymous One
Last career choice available to those with a serious brain injury
Father (to son): What happens if you ride your bike without a helmet? Son: My head will hit the ground and my brains will fall out. Father: And then what? Son: I have to be a lawyer Father: And we don't want that, do we? Son (with horror): NNOOOOO!
By SkankyHo
See: Pure, Undeniable Evil
Lawyers: the cause of all of lifes problems, shame on all the idiot parents that want their kids to become one.
By A Gorilla
1) The person you call when you get caught by the Fiddies (5-0), pigs, or fuzz. Also can be used as a defense when they are asking you questions see Lawyer Up. Note- Its probably best not to play this card immediatly upon being pulled over. 2) a friend of a friend, or a cousin that really didnt go to law school but was arrested once for the same thing.
Ex 1) Right violating Cop#1: "We are going to search your vehicle?" Player#1: "Iz be wantin my lawyer first." Right violating Cop#2: "Don't worry about that shit. Ill just tell the judge I smelled pot in the car and saw some smoke" Ex 2) Quick to judge, dont care if hes wrong Cop#1: "We are going to run you down to the station" Player#2: "My lawyer said this shit aint illegal and yous all cant arrest me for it."
By Marius M