To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice. With pie.
Thanksgiving isn't about blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part with the maize and the big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and Squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach.
By Frankie1969
a day we commemorate taking advantage of the "indians" by stealing their land, food, and lifestyles in exchange for cheap trinkets.
Ahh thanksgiving, lets give thanks to those indians for letting us screw them wholeheartedly.
By Chinese Jew
A Turkey's worst nightmare.
On Halloween: Turkey 1: Say Joe have you heard the ghost story about "Thanksgiving"? Turkey 2: No, what happens? Turkey 1: Every year, on the same day, millions of Turkeys get their heads chopped off and then get eaten! Turkey 2: Holy cow! Lucky it's just a ghost story.
By MatthewCHK
A mind-fucking holiday in which we take part eating the only animal that gobbles (That I know of), and commemorate our first contact with the real Americans (Before we made them our bitches).
"Happy Thanksgiving!" -"Dude, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving." "Why not?" -"Why the fuck do you?!"
By Wang Lung Ho
Stoner's favorite holiday.
Sean smoked four bowls and then went to thanksgiving dinner. He ate four plates of mashed potatoes. Then he killed a pumpkin pie. You go sean. You go.
By craYYYzay