Michael Brown Tee

np: Michael DeWayne Brown (b 1954-) (aka: Gilligan. Wile E. Coyote.) n. Brown 1. n. Former head of Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). FEMA (aka: Federal Excessive Masturbation Autocracy.) 2. n. Former Arabian horse inseminator. (ie-technician who pulls the dong of an Arabian stallion, and then injects the effluent into the cooch of the mare for purposes of pedigree horse breeding. (See: splooge broker.) 3. n. Former splooge broker to President George W Bush. (See patronage appointments.) 4. n. (generic) Any man bearing a strong resemblance to a large slug or turtle, who frequently uses the term ‘balls to the wall.’ Any mollusk-like individual obsessed with balls. 5. n. (generic) A paunchy fashion god of the LLBean type. Any flabby middle-aged caucasian male who believes that rolling up his sleaves makes him appear macho and decisive, despite massive evidence to the contrary (see George W Bush, Dick Cheney, James Earl Carter.) 6. n. (slang: brown bag) A douche bag. An enema bag. 7. n. (generic) A whiner. One who whines, and blames others/everybody for his mistakes. (See stool pigeon.) 8. n (generic) A fall guy. (See Admiral Husband Kimmell.) 9. n. (generic) A scape goat used to draw attention away from a systematic government failure of massive proportions. 10. n. (sports) A coach. (ie-the act of firing the coach of a professional sporting team because it is impossible to fire the owner. See George Steinbrener.) v. to brown: 1. v. To whine. To blame others for one’s own mistakes. 2. v. To fail miserably at a task, usually as a result of total ineptitude, incomptetence and indecisiveness. To make a bad situation worse through incompetence. (see: cockup, clusterfuck, hump the bunk, fuck the dog.) 3. v. the act of answering urgent emails with ridiculous understatements, suggesting that the recipient did not understand the gravity of the message. (ie-Message: “The 9th ward levy just broke, and New Orleans is under 18 feet of water!” Reply: “Thanks for the update. I’ll start looking for an alternate supplier of mardi gras beads.”)