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USS Jimmy Carter

The USS Jimmy Carter is a CNO Special Projects Boat. Originally destined to be the third in the vaunted Seawolf Class Nuclear Attack Submarine, she ended up being the last in the class, cut in half, extended by 100 feet, and sent to sea. A problematic, overengineered design to begin with, the Navy in their infinate wisdom, decided to throw 100 feet of even more overengineered crap in the middle and call it good. The Navy has been paying for that mistake (literally) ever since. If the logistical problems of maintaining a 3 boat class weren't bad enough, compound that with a laundry list of must-have parts that aren't made any more, add a touch of shipyard (EB) "craftsmanship", and sprinkle in a generous amount of DFS'. The phrase "SAT for sea" is commonly used, usually to describe the piece of duct tape being used to hold in that valve that penetrates the hull, half-assed welded in place by a stoned metalworker who came in drunk with half a joint in his mouth. If that wasn't bad enough, listen to the crew: There have been people stuck onboard for 5+ years with no end in sight. In that time, some of them have never gone to a school. Most of them have had multiple award nominations shot down by the upper echelon. Almost all of those going up for terminal leave have had it denied, or told it was a "set-in-stone" date, only to have it cancelled after tuition and a house has been paid for back home. Some have been in their rotation window up to 3 times, but keep getting extended because it's difficult to find someone who hasn't heard of this floating shitheap. Most boats lose 1-3 guys a year due to clearance, medical, legal, or psychological issues. The goodship JC has lost 42 since 2003 massively due to psychological issues. And nothing has been done, despite the many protests of the crew. Good men have been lost to this ongoing problem, and the loss rate is increasing. It's not limited to the blueshirts, either. Chiefs and officers have fallen before the incredible stresses needlessly placed on those aboard. Re-enlistment has been hovering just above 0% since the keel first touched water. Nobody wonders why. Crew morale is so bad, those onboard look forward to injury so they can get some rest. Crew morale is so bad that the COB had to make a ships picnic mandatory just to get some people to show up. Many arrived in the parking lot, waved, then turned around and left. A senior chief with 17 years in refuses to re-enlist and finish his 3 years because it's not worth extending onboard another 6 months. All in all, the "leading indicators" show that this boat is a crap-heap with a list of receipts 10 years long. The motto is "Semper Optima" meaning "Always the Best", but should be "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here".

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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15

I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.

Material G.May 1

i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!

maddie w.May 1

Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.

SlagMay 1

best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug

vcuhhuvfrApr 30

I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.

Chandler T.Apr 30

briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!

maddie w.Apr 30

This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.

Jeffery E.Apr 29

Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.

Daniel S.Apr 29
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I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.

David M.Apr 29
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This mug looks great! I love it!

Rebecca J.Apr 28
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I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459

Rowan P.Apr 28

This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing

Luke K.Apr 28

War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.

ha h.Apr 28

Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.

Michael T.Apr 28

I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother

Deni B.Apr 27

Super Funny Mug 😂

Emmanuel D.Apr 27

best mug ever spittin nothin but fax

Thomas J.Apr 27

i fucking hate your mugs and shirts

annetteApr 26
Review by joe M.

awesome product!

joe M.Apr 25

This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help

Quantavious B.Apr 24

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