european drinking rules
A list of rules devised to make certain that landmark nights out are as legendary (i.e. everybody well and truly lashed) as possible. They are as follows: 1. The word "Drink" and any of its derivatives such as "Drank" or "Drinking" etc, may not be used. 2. Glasses should be held with the off-hand (left hand for a right-hander) with the pinkie raised off the glass. 3. Glasses should rest a safe distance from the table's edge, usually about 2 inches at least. 4. No pointing at anyone - this is just plain rude. 5. Empty glasses should be replaced immediately by a new beverage. 6. Vessels which are non-conducive to downing i.e. bottles must be replaced with glasses. 7. Every person must keep a copy of their rules on an A4 sheet at all times 8. Nobody shall refer to another by their first name, only by surnames, nicknames or by "oi, you" etc. 9. The toilet-master must be asked permission whenever a person needs to go to the john. He'll almost always grant it. 10. The thumb-master can at any point place their thumb on the drinking surface. Everybody else must follow suit, until there is one person who hasn't. 11. The pose-master is similar to the thumb-master, however others must follow suit when they strike a pose (could be anything from a frown to an impression of Michaelangelo's David) until one person hasn't. 12. Weights-and-measures master determines forfeits for rule-breaking individuals. Failure to comply with rules 2, 3 or 6 results in the downing of the rule-breaker's current drink. Failure to comply with rules 1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 results in a forfeit determined by the weights-and-measures master. At the end of the night, everybody in the party must make a paper plane out of their copy of the rules. Then everybody will take it in turns to throw their plane. The owner of the plane which travels least furthest must undergo a major forfeit, decided by the weights-and-measures master. So too must people who have lost their rules.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
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This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
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This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help
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